Changing perspective

So I did ride.  On Wednesday after school I met up with my boyfriend and we planned to do a 10mi loop twice.  I hadn’t really gotten a bike workout in since the end of August, but I figured 20miles was going to be a piece of cake.

I’d done it before

Well, after 1 loop I pretty much bonked.  I was dehydrated, in a bad mood, and had a bad headache.  And well, I hadn’t ridden in weeks!

Yesterday I was very busy for most of the day at school and work, so I didn’t get a workout in.  I was feeling shitty and sorry for myself and wrote a post complaining about what went wrong on my ride and how blegh I still felt.

After poking around on here a little, looking for blogs to follow, I came across  The blogger is a woman who lost her beautiful 4 year old boy to neuroblastoma.  Her words were passionate, inspiring, and devastating. I started feeling pretty silly about the dumb, superficial rant I had just posted.  As I read about the day Ronan died, I completely lost it.  I started crying uncontrollably in the Medical School library.  And then I deleted my post.

Childhood cancer is nothing short of horrible.  Having no personal experience with it, simply imagining my brother’s with cancer brings me to tears.  I currently work in geriatric oncology outcomes research, but the only personal experience I have with cancer is through my aunt who died after a difficult battle with leukemia.  She is partly the reason I became interested in cancer and have this research position.

I guess I’d call myself a wimp when it comes to terminal illnesses in children.  I cry every damn time this commercial comes on:


I am drawn to more extreme patient populations…..the very elderly and children. It is their stories that touch me the most.  I just don’t think I have the stomach to see such sick children day in and day out as a doctor.  It tears me up inside to even think about it.  I have, however, always been interested in geriatrics.  I had a very close relationship with my grandmother, and seeing her battle and lose her fight with Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s disease inspired me to pursue becoming a doctor to help the elderly live happier, healthier lives.

I worked with patients with mild cognitive impairment and Alzheimer’s disease for 4years in college where I researched the efficacy of new computerized tests for early diagnosis.  My research position in geriatric oncology just started in the beginning of this summer.  I was sort of forced out of neurology, because funding in my lab was cut and I couldn’t find anything else in the field.  I don’t mind though….as long as I am making a difference in this population, especially in cancer research.  Although ~60% of all cancer patients are over 65 they are barely represented in randomized clinical trials.  So how can we expect treatments to be effective for the elderly when they haven’t even been appreciably tested for them?

 makes me mad -_- but thats why I’m doing something about it.

Looking into Ronan’s big blue eyes made me completely forget about what a bad day I was having yesterday and the day before….because it could be so much worse.


Thank you Ronan, for reminding me to take a deep breath and be happy for what I have in my life ❤

I didn’t workout today either…2 days in a row now.  I have been busy getting back into the groove of school, and trying to get my thesis committee together.  I won’t beat myself up over it.  Tomorrow is a new day, and I know I’ll have some time to move my body 🙂


2 thoughts on “Changing perspective

  1. Please don’t get offended by the simplicity of this, but adding Coconut oil to the diet of Alzheimers patients helps tremendously with clairity and mental function. Also, the product at this site, reduces oxidative stress, kind of arresting the progress. You owe it to your self and your patients to look into Natural solutions.

  2. Not offense taken! But that is overly simplistic. I’m a scientist, so naturally I did a search of scholarly papers researching the use of coconut oil, and specifically ketones, to improve cognitive function in Alzheimer’s patients. Because Alzheimer’s is such a poorly known degenerative disorder, with multi-factorial environmental and genetic causes, one specific change in diet isn’t going to work for everyone…..or even the majority. If it did, more studies would be proving so. The data just simply isn’t there (that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work though). I’d be hesitant to recommend it because studies have shown that the amount of ketones needed to make a noticeable improvement would require huge levels of coconut oil….which has good fat, but FAT none the less. I’d say whatever positive stories are out there are due to specific genetic variations within a small subset of people that allow them to improve with lower levels of ketones.
    I’m all for natural solutions…..if I know they’ll make a difference. As a physician, I will have the responsibility to be well informed on all possible interventions, and not tout false hope.
    So, taking a simplistic view on it I believe is the wrong way to go.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s